Pre-islamic Age of Ignorance:    There was no period of mourning. A woman whose husband died would wait for a year as iddat. During this time, her life was a torment, she would retire to a dark corner of her house in the most worthless clothes, she would not wear perfume, she would not wear all kinds of clothes.

We know that the ignorant poet Tarafah had made a will in one of his couplets to be mourned in a manner befitting him after his death: “When I die, weep in a manner befitting me, tear your collars for me, O Umm Mabed.”[648]Abdulmuttalib, the grandfather of our Prophet, also gathered his daughters to mourn him when he was going to die. [649] When the polytheist Arabs were in mourning, they used to weep, wail and wail, beat their cheeks, faces, heads, knees, tear their collars and clothes, scratch their faces, spread the favours of the deceased in verses, and pray for their own destruction.[650] Again, in the jahiliyyah period, the funeral owners used to prepare food and serve it to those who attended the funeral.[651] This was also considered as mourning.[652]

ISLAM:  The wives of the deceased among you, whom you leave behind, shall keep themselves under surveillance for four months and ten days.[653]

About the duration of mourning, the Prophet (SAW) said: It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days for a dead person other than her husband. However, if her husband dies, she should mourn for four months and ten days.[654]

As for those who harm themselves while mourning, the Prophet (PBUH) said: “He who weeps by hitting his face and tearing his clothes and continues the customs of ignorance is not from us.”[655] At the funeral home of Ja’far (r.a.), who was martyred in the battle of Muta, the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said to his son Abdullah b. Ja’far: “Prepare food for the people of Ja’far’s (house). For something has come upon them that occupies them.”[656

Nowadays: The duration of mourning is still not clearly defined today. Although this period is fixed in Islam, its non-application turns the life of the deceased in this world into a torment. People who wail and wail while mourning, beat their cheeks, faces, heads or knees, tear their clothes and hurt themselves are frequently encountered in this time. This rebellion is made to Canan, who takes back the life he gave. Words such as “Azrael took it untimely”, “Was he the man to die?”, “We perished with the death of so and so.” fall under the scope of words spoken against the creator. The fact that the funeral owner gives food at the funeral home is one of the situations we frequently encounter everywhere. Burdening a person who is psychologically disturbed by the death of a relative with this work is really the greatest torment to be done to the funeral owners. However, Islam has dealt with this as a matter of solidarity and has stated that rather than being a burden on the funeral owner, neighbours and relatives have duties. Since these people will be extremely sad and preoccupied, they will not think of preparing food for themselves, nor will they even realise that they are hungry. Therefore, the Prophet (SAW) ordered the neighbours and relatives of the deceased to prepare food for the family of the deceased. Ibn al-Humam said in Fath al-Qadir that according to the Hanafis, it is mustahabb for the neighbours and relatives to prepare enough food for the household of the deceased to last day and night. According to al-Khattaabi, Imam Shafi’i is of the same opinion. However, it is makrooh for the family members of the deceased to organise a feast for the people. This is because banquets have been authorised for days of joy and merriment. Giving a feast on such days of mourning is against the purpose of the feast and is bid’ah.[657] Jarir Ibn ‘Abdillah al-Bajali (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates: “We (in the time of the Messenger of Allah) used to consider gathering at the house of the deceased and making food (for those gathered) as part of the forbidden mourning.”[658

Mourning: Crying, weeping and wailing from sadness or grief, mourning from grief

[648] Nawawi, Minhaj, VI, 229; Aynī, Umdat al-Qari, VIII, 79

[649] Ibn Ishaq, Sīrah, p.45,46; Ibn Hisham, Sīrah, 1,178-179.

[650] Bukhari, Sahih, II, 82-83; Muslim, Sahih, I, 99; Abu Dawud, Sunan, III, 496; Tirmidhi, Sunan, III, 324

[Ibn Majah, Sunan, I, 514; Subki, Menhel, VIII, 288

[652] Ali Osman Ateş, All Aspects of Islam in Asr-ı Saadet, Beyan Publications: 2/228-229

[653] Surat al-Baqarah, Verse 234

[654] Sahih Bukhari Muhtasari Tajrîd-i Sarih Translation and Commentary IV, 363

[655] Bukhari, Jenaiz, 36

[656] Tirmidhi, Jenaiz 21; Ibn Majah, Jenaiz 59; Ahmad b. Hanbal VI,380. Sunan-i Abu Dawud Translation and Commentary, Şamil Publishing House: 11/531-532

[657] Sunan-i Abu Dawud Translation and Commentary, Shamil Publishing House: 11/532-533

[658] Ibrahim Canan, Qutub-i Sitte Translation and Commentary, Akçağ Publications, Volume 17, p.150